A twisted heart...

I am very thankful to have Nancy to turn to especially now... I love her and I care so much for her... Nancy has truly stolen my heart over the last several month... We chat video and voice most of the time... We do this pretty much on a daily basis... Well you are probably wondering why a twisted heart... Well I am so happy to have Nancy in my Life she has helped me to get through some very rough times in my life... Well she is helping through another right now and more so then she realizes just by being there for me... Yes just by our daily chats and being able to see her... Also knowing that us being together may not be easy but it isn't out of our reach either... As some of you know I lost my wife... Well I am missing her so much September 1st is her Birthday and no that's not all on September 14th, 2007 I lost her just after her birthday...
I miss her so much...

She was sick and suffered for a very long time...

I have not been blogging much because I truly have so much on my mind as of late... I spent the last two weeks of Lisa's life sitting holding her hand day and night... I watched as my wife laid there all I could do was tell her how much I love her and pray for her...

This is Lisa...

This is Lisa the weekend before her birthday last year... All she wanted for her birthday was to make it out to Ohiopyle one last time... When she told me that I asked her not to talk like that... Lisa told me honey I am not joking I truly feel I am going to die soon... She said I need to be at the hospital for my birthday and I want to go so can you please take me tomorrow... Well as you can see I took her and she seemed at peace while she was sitting there... I sat with her all day... Well on her birthday I dropped her at the hospital as usual for her treatments... I went on to work and planned on picking her up after work... I received a call at work from one of Lisa's Nurses... Jim Lisa needs you right now... She has been moved to ICCU and you may lose her... She was fine one minute and we need to put her in ICCU the next... I rushed back to the hospital...

Yes if you are really reading this then you noticed she ended up in the hospital on her birthday and was placed in ICCU... I sat with her day and night the nurses tried to make me leave even called security I refused to leave I told them call the police... I hope none of you have to sit next to your spouse and watch them slowly die while all you can do is pray and hope for the best... I did not want to lose her and I kept praying for her to live and get better.... It was not till after that I realized she was in heaven and she was no longer suffering... God how this hurts, it hurts more now then it did when it was happening... I need to work through this it is just another rough time in my life... I am truly happy that Nancy found me and gave me a reason to keep going on in life and look for a brighter future... I still Love Lisa so much and miss her so much... I also Love Nancy so much and I want to continue on with my life with Nancy... So that is why I have a twisted heart...

This Is Nancy...

I want to say thank you to Nancy for being so caring, kind, and Lovable... I don't know how I could have made it even this far with out you being a big part of my life... Since you have come into my life you have become just as important to me as my children and now even my grandson... I love you and care so much about you... I just want to say thank you for all you have done for me and my children. You are so sweet...