Wednesday, February 6, 2008

This is for those who are interested in a little bit about me...

Well I will start out by saying I was happily married for over 20years... My wife was a great and beautiful wife and one of the best moms. I have two children they were the apples of their mom’s eyes... I lost her a few months ago because of very serious health problems, which we had battled for years... She was a wonderful woman would never give up she fought all the way to the end... I know this to be true because I sat by her bed in ICCU for the last two weeks of her life just holding her hand, and crying and praying to god to help her, well in a way I guess he did she is in heaven and no-longer suffering… She suffered severely for several years. The doctors had her on so much pain medicine all the time… It was heart breaking… But I was always there I would leave work to be with her anytime she called, my boss new she was the most important person in my life and placed above all else including work… I did not want to live after I lost her… I am still missing her ever so much… But life has to go on as everyone keeps telling me… Well I was having a really bad day about three months after she had passed and was going to do something very stupid when a stranger appeared on my pc screen and asked if I wanted to chat… I said sure why not well needless to say this person changed my mind… I talked and talked to this person… the more we had talked the more I fell in love never even seen this person… just chat blimps… but I could tell she was a very special individual sent by god to help me… I did not care about her looks or where she was from she was so kind and generous to me… She had helped me to get through a very tough time in my life… I started feeling more and more for her every time we spoke… And one day I told her I thought she was just to sweet and kind and I was getting feelings toward her… Well I almost fell off my chair when she said I am feeling the same way… She is an angel from heaven is how I truly feel… I still love my wife and visit here grave and I always will as much as I always have… Over the last couple months I also have started feeling for this angel sent to me out of know where… God must have put us on a path for some reason… I talk with her and I blog while I talk with her. Yes the answer to the big question is she is a blogger… I care very deeply for her I have seen her and she is every bit as beautiful as she is sweet and kind… I have been asked by a couple bloggers as to who see may be… But I promised not to reveal a name to the blogging community. I keep my promises and I won’t say who she is… she knows who she is and she is the only one that really needs to know. I enjoy leaving her messages… she reads them as does a lot of other people so who could it be, well could be any one of a lot of beautiful, kind, sweet, and caring bloggers… My angry post the other day was because I received a phone call… This was the call…
Hello, voice asked please put Lisa on the phone… I started to yell in to the other room honey you’re wanted on the phone, wow it hit me like a ton of bricks, she is not her… I asked who is calling, they told me… well I had told the company at least 30 times and sent them a copy of the death certificate and I got mad… I told the guy on the phone your company has been notified on several occasions my wife passed away… his response well she will be charged full price for her stuff because she has not ordered on a regular basis… to this I became furious and told him you can’t charge a dead person… and slammed down the phone… Her death still hurts very much and part of me died with her… but on the other hand a part of her lives with me and always will… I do love this new person and I believe as much as I have always loved my wife. I hear go for it, I hear it’s too soon, and I hear all kinds of things, but I listen to my heart… My heart tells me it is right… I fell in love with my wife the day I met her. Spent 25 wonderful years with her showing her my love and feeling hers we were married over 20 of those years… So I truly believe it has happened again I fell in love for the second time in my life… I never cheated on my wife not once and never even thought of cheating… My wife was my first and only in that department… And I plan on waiting till it all works out with my new love to go there again… I believe things like that should only be done between two people who truly love each other, I don’t believe in one night stands… So there you all are my recent life open as a book…

My children adore her and think she is wonderful.....

8 comments:

Michelle said...

wow, that's a long one. hehe anyways, as what others say that everything happens for a reason. just make sure that your kids are also involved with your lovelife so they won't give you or your new girl a hard time in the future when you are together. i wish you happiness in life. :)

Asian Traveler said...

I agree with michelle.

I wish you both the best of luck & many happy years ahead of you.:)

Scotty's Princess said...

This is too moving, Jim! It must be still too painful for you to talk about your wife's death and I am so sorry for your loss. But life has to move on. I was a little shock to know your angel is one of us too in the blogging community. But anyway, I respect your silence as to your angel's identity. I am hoping it would work out between the 2 of u very soon. I appreciate so much your honesty and in letting your feelings show in the world wide web. It takes a real man to do it and you just showed us that you are. Keep it up!

Noushy Syah said...

Hi JK...life moves on, and so do you...loving a new person in your life doesn't mean that you don't love your history...Wishing you all the best in your undertakings.

Thanks for sharing with us,take care.

Family Paradise said...

Too painful history at the same time full of love! I wish you the best of this new love you found!

Have a great weekend ahead!

moccalyn said...

Hi Jk

glad your back on blogging, well, i understand your feelings towards your wife, the love you have for her will never die but loving new person doesnt mean you are no longer loving her or cheating on her, For all you know she must have asked this angel t o come down on you so that you will be happy like her in heaven.

Good luck and hope everything turns good on you and to her

Amor said...

hi JK! I admire your being brave and honest. I'm sure your wife is happy to know you've found a new love. Hope you end up together, as you make each other happy. Good luck!

www.asawakomahalko.net said...

hi jk i hope u don't mind i leave ur tag-here...ty

http://www.asawakomahalko.org/2008/02/three-hearts-for-you.html